For You Only ...

Dear Love,

The day when I first met you, when our eyes met, I had given you place in my heart. Really, like the real world, if dream world had some reality, then my rest of life would have been real. I would have spent all my nights in dreams… We can only see the distant moon, but can’t touch. You are also like that distant moon. How can I tell you my inner stories? You have gone, but your memories have become part of my life with which I am surviving. Without you, there is no memory, and there is no life…

The day when I had seen you, I had made you my dream girl; not only in my dreams, but in my body, mind and soul too… I had dreamt of giving all worldly happiness to you…

I remember that day when I was on my way back home and you had given me a bouquet of rose as gift. The fragrance of those had really made me mad. Girls like flower a lot, rose being the top of the list. They never give that to others feeling as if they are giving one part of their heart; but you had given me that… Having found that as symbol of Love too, I could not believe that you love me, as I always thought I am not suitable for you…

But what happened! The strings of guitar broke, all songs became lifeless, all the drawings that I had drawn using canvas got changed, and the petals of rose fell down… I never believed that you would change like this… You changed me and everything of me… I still remember those memories… I wanted to speak my heart, but could not… I still remember you, but how can I explain that to you?

With your all memories, I live today. Season after season changes, but there is no spring in my life… Flowers have become odorless, lifeless. No more new plants, only dry desert…

Yes, the world changes. Here everything changes easily, so how can we be exceptions? Everything happens as He wants; hopefully, He has not created you for me, so how can I get you? Humans always try to get what they like and I am no exception to that… I also wanted you, but the society stood against me… Sometimes, humans behave unmanly by these circumstances…

I have wasted most of the time of my life for you; still you could not understand me. You would have understood me well if I had married you, but that was out of my control. I won’t get love from you, I am sure, but hate me for all that I have done… But I still have kept the bouquet that you had given me, now only with thorns, giving pain to me whenever I think of you… Still I am not able to throw that, rather, I have kept that close to my heart hurting my body… Hope, the blood released from my body will be the signature of our love, our memory…

Yours ....

Note: This is my sheer crude imagination over a train journey from Brahmapur (Orissa) to Chennai on 11th March 2009. Thanks to the Oriya magazines that I had managed to read during my stay at Orissa for this inspiration.